Dear you,
Christmas at Chatterley is a joy unbound. For as long as I can remember the great and the good have descended here for Christmas lunch and a walk in the gardens as a respite from the festive melee. In my time I’ve fed turkey to 4 PMs (Churchill twice, Eden, Macmillan and Major), foreign digs (Bhutto, Amin, the Aga Khan and his wife Chaka) authors (Forster, Greene, Clancy), rock stars (Jagger, Lennon, Roussos). You name them, they’ll have passed through these hallowed halls.
Ice Cube, embarrassed!
As a result I’ve been given some simply stunning Christmas presents; A Purdy from Germaine Greer, a sealskin gilet from Sting and methadone from Frank Sinatra. The most of generous prezzie ever, ever, ever though was from Public Enemy Front Man Ice Cube, who called ahead on Christmas Eve, to ask what I’d like. I modestly suggested something to put my hoes in and he gave me a Mercedes! A real mix up but a wonderful ride.
Gardening presents are all well and good but useless if you’ve no land. If you need to get a garden mad chum a present I suggest a plot of land. According to my chum, the Duke of Abercorn, Norfolk is on the market.
Happy Shopping!
Ever,
JC x
FLOREAT CHATTERLEY 